Payton's mom, Rachelle shared the following story with us about the early days of her diagnosis, and the pain of the journey right after hearing... I hope that this shows many that they are NOT alone, and there IS light on the path!
Meet Payton!
October 15, 2010 was the best day of my life. That was the day that I found out that I was pregnant – after less than a month of trying. My pregnancy started out so easy – no morning sickness, no cravings or increased appetite, no weight gain until roughly 12 weeks or so – I wouldn’t even have known I was pregnant had it not been for that very faint pink line on the pregnancy test . February 3, 2011 was the worst day of my life. That was the day that spina bifida was confirmed in our precious baby girl. It was also the first time the doctor told us we had the option of “terminating” our pregnancy.
When Pat and I found out that our pregnancy wasn’t as perfect as we had thought, we were devastated. I was furious with God for creating a child who would suffer. I prayed for weeks that He would take her home with Him, where I knew she would not suffer. I swear I cried for weeks on end. We were sent to London to meet with specialists and they too let us know that we had the option of terminating our pregnancy. I admit that for some time I wallowed in fear and sorrow. I entertained the idea of aborting my unborn baby. I was terrified of the struggles she would have to face throughout her life. I wondered if Pat and I would be able to handle the challenges of raising a child with special needs. Would our relationship survive the strain?
Had it not been for Pat, I may have terminated the pregnancy. I would not have my Payton. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life. It almost seems ridiculous now to admit that I was ‘devastated’ when I first found out that Payton would have spina bifida. What was I so afraid of? She brings me so much joy each and every day. Her every smile melts my heart. She continues to grow and amaze me daily. I have learned so much from her. I have learned unconditional love; to appreciate the little things in life; to celebrate diversity. No matter what struggles we may face, there is nothing that would make me regret bringing our daughter into this world.
I felt compelled to share the darkest part of our story in hopes that it will help someone who is going through this or may go through this in the future. Spina bifida is not a tragedy. It has it’s challenges but , by no means, does it define a person.
Thank you Rachelle for sharing with us!
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