Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Ramblings of a momma

Yea yea yea.... I know... it's  been a while.... oh well! Such is life,  move on! 

This morning I am sitting here in a place we keep seeming to come back to (Children's  Hospital Oakland) with little to do besides wait for our appointments. And in this my heart felt called to write. It's kinda odd how God keeps bringing me here for Nathaniel's care, then using the time to do some major works in my heart and life, but who am I to question God? So I decided to wander down this path and see where He leads today.

Right now Nathaniel and I are just hanging out at Family House and waiting for his appointments this afternoon. He is happily playing on his electronics, but my brain won't stop spinning. 

As I lay here thinking and praying I am struck over and over again with the fact that this journey  with Spina  Bifida  and my family started 15 years ago, almost to the day! It is very surreal to me that we are once again facing major surgery almost 15 years to the day from when all of this began for us. So very much has changed in those 15 years, and yet some things haven't changed at all. There are way too many things to list, but these are the ones that strike me deepest today:

Nathaniel is no longer a little baby growing inside of me. He is a young man with a personality and spirit all his own. It's still my job to care for him to the best of my ability, but he has a voice in that care now too.

Spina Bifida isn't a big, scary mystery anymore, it's a part of our life that we live with and deal with every single day. In the last 15 years not a SINGLE day has gone by that Spina Bifida hasn't had a part in.

I still hate all things medical and most of all the thought of cutting a body open, and yet this will be Nathaniel's 45th surgery in his life! 

I am still terrified of shunts, and  while we have been spared the shunt journey up until this point, tomorrow Nathaniel will be getting a shunt and our shunt journey will begin.

There are many things rambling around my heart and mind, but most of all I keep going back to the beginning, and it struck me how many new people are in our lives that don't know the story of 15 years ago. So I decided to link it here, for those of you who want to read it. These are my memories of the beginning of our family's journey with Spina Bifida, the journey that began 15 years ago tomorrow.




And by now I am sure you have had enough of my ramblings for now,  so I will sign off and dive back into my bible.  But in closing can I ask a favor of you?  Could you keep this afternoon's appointments in prayer? For clarity on the plan. For peace in the plan. And for God's ever perfect plan to be the one that is followed.

Until later, when I have a plan to share with you...