We have a little problem....

As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE our new house, we have one little problem....

Can you see it????
How about now???
This little guy seems to think that it's A Ok for him to take up residence here rent free. Now I am a generous person and all... but he HAS TO GO!!!!!

Not only do I HATE HATE HATE critters of most any kind, but he (or she or it or whatever the heck it is!) is destroying the back yard and making it so unsafe!!! There are so many tunnels burrowed out there that it seems wherever you walk the ground collapses under you. I am beginning to get really worried that one of the kids is going to hurt themselves, but they love playing in the yard too.

So I am trying to decide, is this little free loader a gopher or a mole?
And whatever it is, how the heck do I get rid of it????
Now don't tell me to get a cat, because I am SOOOO allergic to them.
And my silly dog doesn't even seem to notice the critter when it's only a few feet away from him! I have tried water in the holes flooding him out.
I have tried Juicy Fruit.
I am worried about poisons because of the dog and kids.
What else is there?
What about a trap so I (not really me, the handy man of course because I DO NOT DO CRITTERS!) can take it FAR FAR FAR away from here???
Ideas????
Help please!!!!