Friday, December 3, 2010

The Voice of Truth

"The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"

And the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth!"

Casting Crowns, Voice of Truth

As I walk through life everyday I find myself struggling to hold onto what I KNOW are truths in life. Life seems to want to steal away the security of clinging to the Lord, but I have found myself really focusing on the voice of truth right now.

I have always loved this song. The opening verses just speak directly to my heart every single time I hear the song.

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

The message in the whole song is one that I can so wrap my heart and mind around, no matter what. This week I have heard this song so many times, and it has directed me back to the truth time and time again.

Because life is NOT easy. And things WILL go wrong. But God IS in control and He WILL work all things together for His good.

So time and time again in the past few days I have found myself having to look deeper than my shallowness to find the voice of truth, and I would like to share some of the truths I have found this week.

It has been cold here. Not cold like some parts of the world, but cold for this wimp. And not having a reliable heater in our new home has been a challenge for me. I have found myself whining (especially on facebook statuses!) about being cold. But the truth is that it is not that cold here, there are places much colder on a regular basis. And the truth is that I am fortunate enough to have more warm clothes to put on and beautiful warm quilts to curl up in when I am cold. There are MANY in this world colder than I that don't have any more clothes to put on or quilts to cover up in!

I am consumed with medical stuff in my brain right now. Nuropsychology reports that rip my heart out. Behavioral Analysis that drives me right up the wall. Urology battles that make me want to beat my head against that same wall. IQ scores that shake my world. And doctors that keep drowning me in the negatives. But the voice of truth? Doctors said my son would never walk, God made him to not only walk, but to run and jump and surf. Doctors only have so much knowledge, but I have way more FAITH that the Lord is for us, and ONLY He knows what the future will hold. It is my job to focus on HIM through it all and find the voice of truth in all of the static from the doctors. (PLEASE do not miss understand me here, I think our doctors are, for the most part, wonderful, and that they are using their book knowledge, but I believe God can do ANYTHING and I rely on that faith. I am NOT putting down any of our medical team!)

It is true that we live right on the edge. Money is always tight, and I have to think about every penny I spend. But the truth of the matter is that God has continued to faithfully provide for the kids and I. Food is a constant concern, but the truth is that God has placed amazing resources in my life that I am able to feed my family of three month in and month out on a $100 grocery budget. There is an extra need in a month like the brakes on the car needing replaced, or a wheel chair ramp needed? God provides in various ways that those needs get met. No matter what comes our way, as long as the kids and I are walking on the path that He would have for us, God meets us right where we are at. So that freezer in the garage that seems to not be working tonight? I am working VERY HARD on not worrying about it, but rather looking forward to seeing how God is going to direct us in this one. (Any fix it people reading today? :) )

I have never wanted to be a divorce statistic, but the truth is that God does not want my children and I to be a domestic violence statistic either! I can make every Biblical argument against divorce, but God called me to walk away from a highly abusive situation. I must focus on His voice, put one foot in front of the other on God's path and find healing in a healthy manner for my family. And amazingly, when I finally stopped arguing with Him and just started waking, He has paved the rocky road in such miraculous ways. He is right there with us.
I am ridiculously lonely right now. This has been the longest season of my life without close friends or significant others close by. And I am a wimp about it. My two primary love languages are touch and acts of service... that makes it hard to feel loved when most of my closest friends do not reside in the same state as I do. Skype hugs just don't do me :) I find myself wallowing in self pity, but the voice of truth says that when I focus on Him He will take complete care of us. The truth is that I don't have to look any further than the word of God to fill those lonely holes. And when I look around me, I do see some meaningful friendships budding up in my life. Now I have to look to the voice of truth to figure out how to trust again :)

The bottom line is, in every situation I could choose to feel sorry for myself, or wallow in self pity, or even just be selfish! OR I could focus on the truth, figure out what God is saying and walk in a much more glorious manner. Who wouldn't want  to hear the voice of truth??? I know when I turn the world off and think about it, I certainly want the voice of truth directing my life!

Now I am going to focus on the Voice of Truth for this next appointment with the urologist in a few hours...


Jamie said...

I'm sorry you have so much going on right now, especially around the holidays. I pray you find peace during your difficult times and warmth that surpasses anything anyone on earth can give.

Anonymous said...

Your post here sounds so much like my life right now, aside from the divorce part. I have been going to church every Sunday now with my kids and husband and what a switch around things in my life and in my head have taken! I made a new blog here. Maybe you can click on my name to find it. If you want to. Keep your chin up.