Well HELLO there!

Hello My Blog!!!!

Oh MY has it been a LONG time since I have written here.....

Over a YEAR!

My bad.

Through the years this blog has been many things to our family, and those who read it. 

It has been a way to share our family with friends near and far.

It has been an outlet for my personal journey with God.

It has been a chronicle of our journey with Spina Bifida.

It has been a way to share my passion for pictures.

It has been a chronicle of our family's journey with Domestic Violence and getting freedom from that.

It has been a way to show off my cute kids.

It has been a way to keep people up to date and share prayer requests on Nathaniel's many health adventures.

And it has been a way for me to express my heart in writing, with the hope that perhaps it touches someone right where they need it.

And honestly? I am not sure the direction it will take now, but I do KNOW that God has been calling me to write and share my heart again. He has been calling on me to do this for a while now, and the typical person that I can be has ignored that. 

I have been busy, you know? 

(Yea right, like that is an excuse!) 

And we just moved half way across the country

 (yea... another excuse). 

And... well I haven't felt like I have much to say that will really IMPACT anyone

 (more excuses!). 

I have been doing the silly little song and dance of "you tell me what to write about and I will write". But, as you have probably guessed that didn't work too well either :) 

So today, I have decided to JUST WRITE... and see where the journey goes!

Plus, now we have TONS of friends and family that are near and dear to us, but so very far away, so I thought I would share a little of what is going on in our new life here in Oklahoma! (oh, and my camera has been dusted off, and is back in use, so I have to share pictures too, right?)

In the new school that the kids go to, Nathaniel is in a self contained classroom. This is the first time we have placed him in this kind of classroom with this much support, and honestly I have mixed feelings about it. I am trying to trust the Lord, and go with it. I know he is doing well, which is a good thing, especially after the blow out he had trying to function on the Middle School campus last year in California. But I also feel like he is missing out on some things. It's the juggle and compromises we have to make some times. One of the super cool things that he is getting to do through school this year is therapeutic horse back riding! It has been MANY years since Nathaniel has been on a horse, and as you can tell from his expression, he wasn't too sure about it at first!

 

 

Once they got him all saddled up and ready to go he seemed much more comfortable, and by the end of the session he was jazzed and ready to go back next week!

Anyways, back to the school thing... 

They load all the kids in the class (about 12 students, ranging from 8th grade to seniors in high school) on a bus and take them to a local stable. Then each student gets a 30-45 minute session on the horse. While the students are waiting their turn there is a classroom set up at the facility where the students can see their friends riding and work on their class work at the same time. I personally think this is great for Nathaniel, a very low key way to work on his Sensory Processing stuff. Having a goal of work to do while something very distracting to him is happening.

This week Nathaniel was in the second group to ride, which was very handy for Steven and I! We got to see lots of his session before we needed to head back for Steven to get ready for work. I was super impressed with the volunteers who worked with the students and the calm peaceful atmosphere of the stables.

 

 

And of course I was also super impressed with my big Little Man, who did a great job and really enjoyed himself!

Well....

The good news is that I actually got a blog post up, and half of the battle is jumping back in the saddle and just getting it done, right? The other half of the battle will be keeping myself going and seeing the direction I am to be heading now. But for now I am going to count it a victory and get ready for some fellowship time at home group!

As always, thanks for reading and see you soon (I hope!)

In Memeory of My Angel

Mixed in with all of the blessings of life are all of the abrupt halts, quick U turns and broken dreams. Sometimes these sharp turns that no one expects are the most defining things in our life. They bring us to our knees, make us totally dependent on Him and shape our hearts into who we are. One of the most defining and devastating moments of my life happened 15 years ago today.

 

15 years ago today I became what no woman every thinks she will be, but far too many are forced to be, I became a mommy to an angel.

 

 

My beautiful daughter, Taylor Ann was born on September 6, 1998 and on that same day she went home to glory, leaving this momma with empty arms and a broken heart.

 

One of the things I look forward to most is the day I get to heaven and ALL of my children and I get to dance together in the presence of our God. The moment when all of my precious children can be held in my arms and loved on at once, for I have never got that joy on earth.

 

 

 

The journey I have taken as a mommy of an angel has taught me so much, more than even I have the ability to put to words. But one thing I know for sure is it has taught me to NEVER take anything for granted! If you love someone, tell them. If someone stands against you, forgive them. If you harm someone, humbly ask their forgiveness. Enjoy the simple glories of life that surround you every day, even in the midst of the storms. We never know how many tomorrows we will be given and who might be missing from those tomorrows.

 

Never does a day go by that my sweet daughter is far from my thoughts and deep in my heart, but we move on too. Her brother and sisters grow up, meet milestones she will never get to, and we all still remember. One thing that reminds us daily of the depth of her touch in our life is her brother Nathaniel. Had it not been for Taylor's death I KNOW I wouldn't have had the courage and determination to fight for life for Nathaniel, to fight for all that makes him a precious part of our life. Taylor's death gave Nathaniel the gift of life.

 

 

Today while we remember our sweet angel, I ask you to love on yours.

 

Give hugs and kisses.

Dance to imaginary music.

Laugh and giggle.

Forgive.

And count your blessings!

 

Taylor, you are missed.

You are LOVED beyond words.

You are our treasure.

Happy 15th Birthday sweet  angel Taylor!

Testimonsy

 

Soon after we came home from Oakland I was asked to give testimony at church about the experience and how God sustained us through the valley we walked through. This is what it was shown at church after some of the editing. I thought some of you might like to see it.

Beach Magic

If you know us at all, you KNOW we LOVE the beach. It is part of the fiber of who our family is. Also, you probably know about out "other" family... our Project Surf Camp family, which is also part of the fiber of who we are.

 

 

With Nathaniel's recent health struggles and surgery I was very worried that we wouldn't get to experience the magic of Project Surf Camp this summer, and my heart was breaking over that. I think Nathaniel's was too, as it was ALL he talked about while in Rehab. You can't possible imagine the excitement and relief I felt when Dr. Sun told us he was released to surf. I actually did cry tears of relief and joy. Our family was able to join PSC for the opening day of surf camps season this year, yet I have been remiss in blogging it because the emotions were just too raw. I am going to take a stab at it today, and hope the tears stay where they belong!

 

To us, Project Surf Camp is:

 

 

Family that welcomes us home with open arms and love in their hearts.

 

 

Accessibility to one of God's greatest gifts for ALL!

 

 

A chance for siblings so differently abled to do something magical together.

 

 

It's a time for personal victories.

 

 

And a time to share the blessings with treasured friends.

 

 

To me personally, this day was

 

 

About contagious JOY! From a boy who had MAJOR, life altering spinal surgery just 38 days before this!

 

It was about personal victories and finding out that no matter how changed his body is, he can still fight back and be victorious!

 

It was about our family finding normal again.

 

And it was about PRAISING the Lord for His GREATNESS!

 

On this special day at Project Surf Camp, I hung up my hat as Board of Directors member, I didn't even take many pictures (and if you know me then you KNOW that is a miracle),

 

 I just BASKED in His glory.

 

I let Him wash all around me as I prayed and worshiped Him for His GREATNESS.

 

I wept tears unending.

 

And I TOTALLY enjoyed the precious gift of my children SURFING TOGETHER!

 

If you wonder why we say that Project Surf Camp CHANGES LIVES, this is just one small story of the HUGE greatness this camp does.

 

If you want to experience TRUE magic, and God's blessing, let me know, I would LOVE to take you down to the beach with us, get you hooked up to volunteer.... I GUARANTEE you will walk away a changed person.

 

I am excited to say, we are heading down to the beach today... and I can't tell you how much my heart needs a little magic today!

 

I also want to mention a quick THANK YOU to Breann Hollon of Breann Hollon Photography for the AMAZING images of this special day that she captured. My dear, sweet friend volunteers her time and talent to come out and take fabulous pictures that she provides to PSC families free of cost. What a sweetheart! But she also does great work here locally too, so if you need so fabulous photographs, make sure you look her up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



My Cup Runneth Over

I am sorry it has been so many days since I updated. We have been basking in the GLORY of all God is doing, and running like crazy to try and keep up with life! Let's Go back to Tuesday and see what has been happening.

 

 

Tuesday morning, after getting his kicking new shoes, Nat rocked his last couple of therapy sessions. While he was working away, I was packing away. We sure managed to get a LOT of stuff over the 6 weeks we were at the hospital! But I got it all packed up, checked out of the family house again, and got the car packed.

 

The Rehab unit is mostly kids that are there for long periods of time. Believe it or not our 6 weeks was actually pretty short. They deal mostly with traumatic brain injuries, but also other neurological things (like Nat!) too. One of the cool things that the Rehab team does is throw a party for the kids when they get to go home. These kids work SO HARD with these therapists day after day and they all bond so tightly, to just leave with nothing would be so hard on all of them. So all the kids from the unit gather around the nurses station, as many of the nurses and therapists as possible come over, and they sing and have treats and give the kiddo leaving a gift. It is really cool. Quick, easy and yet provides such great closure!

 

After Nat's party there were a few papers to sign, discharge directions to go over and balloons to collect... and then we were OFF! 

 

One of my now so smart moves became apparent next, as the car told me just how NOT happy it was about not moving for 6 weeks. My battery was dead, sigh. It turns out all of those security escorts back and forth to the family house came in handy for more than just keeping me safe in the mean streets of Oakland! When the security team found out my battery was dead they came right over and jumped it for me. Such kind guys! So, after a little delay, this boy and I were ready to hit the road! That picture is both of us sitting in the front seat of the car, ready to get going!

 

I was totally exhausted leaving Oakland. The emotion and stress of the last 6 weeks had really caught up with me, along with the NEED to see home, to hold my daughter, for my family to sleep all under the same roof and for me to sleep in my own bed! I was sort of concerned about the drive home, it was a long 250 miles we faced, but I just laid it on the Lord and started driving. The first hour or so was heavy traffic and not so familiar roads, but then it was like the load was lifted. The drive was actually so very easy and almost like someone else was doing it. As we got closer to home and back in our familiar turf I started to get anxious again. That happens to me, I just want to BE HOME, even though I know we have about an hour left. Right then is when a dear friend called me and chatted with me (yes, via my hands free set!) all the way till I pulled into my driveway. He kept me laughing and giggling and made those last miles fly by.

 

Then there was this BEAUTIFUL sight. I can't tell you how thrilled my heart was to see out house to pull up to our front door and to walk into MY sanctuary! There REALLY is no place like home!

 

And then my cup really did run over. Audrey and Damen had made a sweet welcome home sign for us, my friends and church had filled our fridge with groceries (and OUR kind of food too!), a dear sweet friend had put diner in the crock pot so we came home to a fresh cooked meal and a house smelling divine, and there were even fresh flowers on my dining room table. I am truly so blessed by the people that God puts in my life.

 

Since being home, I can't explain the PURE joy of being here. From the simple things like friends who came over IMMEDIATELY to give hugs and say welcome home, to the bank tellers welcoming me home with smiles and hugs, to the big things, like my family back together as a unit and to freedom of our own home. It is all such a blessing.

 

 

Being home means so much, like sleeping in a real bed, not the window bed that was 6 inches shorter than I am! Like not hearing the IV alarm sound constantly all day and night long. Like turning the lights out at night so it is actually dark to sleep. Like not having to wear security badges 24/7. Like taking a shower with bare feet, no flip flops. Like having privacy and dignity. Like not having to sleep fully clothes at night! Interestingly it was the little things that drove me nuts there, but the big things that I am constantly blessed by here. I can NOT express how much difference the love and joy and prayers that people pour over us has made in this journey.

 

I usually have so many words, and yet this journey seems to have taken them all away from me and left me speechless. But I did write this status update the other day on Facebook with tears of joy and thanksgiving running down my face, perhaps it can express my heart:

 

"What a day of emotions and love. I can't tell you how my heart feels after brunch with Bea pampering by Heather, walking into my home church for the first time in weeks, a warm welcome from The Rock Harbor Worship Team, hugs from dear friends like Gary & Trish, and finishing the night off with Katy and my PSC family. After the journey we have been on, my heart is humbled and blessed by the love I feel today. There really is NO PLACE like home, and I am SO BLESSED by the amazing people God has put in my life. Tomorrow? You will find me on my favorite beach watching magic happen, and praising Him with tears and joy... I KNOW I won't make it through tomorrow without tears of pure thanksgiving and humility at God's GREATNESS."

 

So for all of you I have left hanging there wondering how we are doing, please let me tell you we are FABULOUS and BLESSED. We are redefining "normal" in our house since Nathaniel is a really different boy than when we left (cognitively and physically functioning different), we are learning to be a family again after so much time apart and we are welcoming God's direction into every corner of our world. And I haven't forgotten the lessons God taught me either, I am making changes, following His lead and opening my EVERY breath to Him and his leading. I have a feeling God isn't done with this journey yet.

 

We love you and will try to keep you updated in our world! As always, thanks for standing with us in prayer and love and support!