the storms....

Yea... you thought I wasn't writing because I have been busy hu?

Well you are right .... sort of. I have been SLAMMED with storms in every direction this week. I am clinging to the cross, praying for a light of hope in all of this.

So I am sitting at the local hospital with my son, who is admitted as an in patient right now with a raging infection. So NOT where I thought I would be today.... wanna hear how we got here?

On Monday when I took Nat's braces off his feet were fine. On Tuesday one of our In Home Counselors put his braces on, so I don't know what it looked like but I am sure the foot was fine, he would have noticed it being weird. Tuesday afternoon at physical therapy I took his braces off and his right foot was WRONG. Swollen, hot, yellow.... justt wrong. So off the the ER we headed to have it checked out.

Tuesday at the ER his blood levels were moderate, not normal but not sky high either, and the X Ray and Ultrasound looked ok. Nothing jumped right out at us, even though his foot looked very wrong! So we got some antibiotics and headed home with directions to follow up with our pediatrician and ortho Wednesday.

Wednesday was already booked to the hilt, but we juggled, rearranged and adapted. I dropped the kids off at school (it's an infection INSIDE his leg or foot, that doesn't bother his brain and is not contagious, right?) and headed into town.

First up was an appointment with the behavior specialist at 9 am. He is great and has been a huge help at getting real plans in place for behaviors, but he sort of talks A LOT! I knew I was tired from being in the ER half the night, so I made sure to grab a LARGE coffee before hitting his office. At 10:30 I finally finished there.  

Next up, at 11 we had what I called the "cast of a million" meeting. This was a REALLY important inter agency meeting to help determine the direction we need to head for services for Nathaniel. This whole subject is really something that I have been wanting to share my heart on, but not right now.... too tired! But let me just say this: I have been doing some HUGE heart searching and assessing what Nathaniel needs to have the best quality of life and I have come to the conclusion that the direction we have been heading is not best for him. This has been a really hard place to come to, but I decided that it was time to make my heart and my vision for Nathaniel heard to these agencies that have such different ideas. I am so thankful that I had a team of prayer warriors behind me and such great advocates surrounding me, because of this I really felt like my families voice was heard and I felt the tide turning. No way are where I think we should be yet, but I saw minds opening up and that was a small victory to me! This meeting went from 11 to 1ish. LONG and mind mushing time, but productive too.

Next on the agenda is an appointment with our FABULOUS pediatrician at 1:45. But in order to make that appointment I really needed the boy with me right? So I had to run back home (20 minutes away..) get Nathaniel from school and head back into town (another 20 mins..), that was a quick turn around trip. Dr B saw Nathaniel's foot and was just as concerned as I was about the severity of the swelling and the quickness of the onset. We discussed options then decided to see what the ortho had to say (and he was next at 3 another 30 minutes south of where we were!).

Audrey was dropped off to us at  the pediatrician's office and we all headed down to the ortho's office. There, again, the doctor was concerned with the looks of Nathaniel's foot. In the office he tried to draw fluid from the area that looked the worst and see how the blood looked, but the wound seemed ok. No puss. No fluid. Fresh red blood. So he ordered an MRI so that we could see what was going on inside and told us to keep up with the oral antibiotic.

So, after a full day of appointments and stuff we were heading back home with not much more knowledge than we had had that morning. I was tired. I was worried. I was frustrated. But I was glad to be heading home. At home we were blesses with a YUMMY dinner delivered by a dear friend's family. I was so blesses by Nicole and Robbie and the delicious food they brought over. I decided that I would be able to keep my eyes open for small group, so I headed back out, while the kids stayed home with two staff members.

Small group was a huge blessing to me last night. The book discussion was good, the company wonderful and the break from my reality divine! But I think one thing touched my heart more than anything else... there is a young couple in the group, and they have a very young little baby that comes to group with them. I think it is GREAT that they are able to bring her to group and it reminds me of when Audrey was a little babe. But the really cool thing was that members of the group felt comfortable taking the baby and holding her. What a blessing to that mom to be able to see her darling girl and know she was safe, but sit back and relax in the company of friends too. The other cool thing was seeing that young daddy with his little girl! It melts my heart to see involved dads. Family and friends, comfort and acceptance, what a blessed time.

After the break from my reality, it was back home and checking wounds. I was concerned about how bad it looked, but willing to wait until morning to see if we could get the MRI scheduled. This morning when I check the wound I wasn't very happy, and NOT willing to wait any longer! The swelling had increased, the temperature was up and Nat was in pain. But the worst part was when I touched the wound it seeped puss and blood out of it through the skin. Not exactly a good thing! So we were on the phone as soon as the pediatricians' office opened to see what could be done NOW. The answer....

Because no diagnostic center understood that EMERGENCY MRI meant it needed done TODAY, we were admitted to the local hospital to receive an MRI. So we have been hanging here, with the sweetest nursing staff around and a great hospitalist, coming up with the game plan.

By 2 pm, with FIVE sticks to get an IV in (poor kid was cursed with my collapsing veins!) a ton of labs ran and a MRI done we began the waiting game. It is amazing to me how fast things can get done here, but not if I am a plain Jane patient saying "but the Doctor said today...", but at least our needs were met! And  the other good thing? While sitting here chatting with the nurses I jokingly mentioned that he had other orders in my purse from another doctor that needed done, too bad..... Guess what? They got it all done while we are sitting here today!! How cool is that? Feeling so blessed that we don't have to turn around and come back in a day or two for more tests!

Thank goodness for doctors who get HOW FAST something little can become a nightmare for my little man, and are willing to treat aggressively! And the waiting continues, but we feel blessed and loved right here in the arms of the Lord!

Thanks for your prayers for speady healing, and hopefully a safe trip to UCSF Spina Bifida clinic tomorrow!