I feel like I have been MIA in the blog world for SO LONG... (and I have been!)... but life has been CRAZY! The last few days I have been toying with how to jump back in gracefully and I decided TO HECK with grace :) This is on my heart, therefore it is what I will write today!
Sometimes life is HARD, but I have learned that I can always look around and see someone with troubles just as hard if not harder than mine. I DO NOT say this to minimize what I deal with, nor do I say it for pity, it just IS. One dear man taught me that.... some times life just IS and you deal with it! In the past year I have fought battles that have drained me so much, yet I still see so much hope when I look around, and I still feel God's STRONG pull on my life.
Recently I have found myself bargaining with God.
Have you ever tried that?
You would think that I know it does not work...but I can be a little hard headed at times!
I am STRONG willed, and sometimes (or maybe a lot of times...) think that if I just stick to my guns I will win. Yea.... NOT! God seems to have a longer holding time than me. Who would have EVER thought that??? This past week or so He has decided to HAMMER me and I think that my hard head might finally be cracking...
You see I KNOW His call in my life. I hear it loud and clear. I know the life verses He has placed in my heart and that I strive to walk out daily. But I also KNOW how hard everything is these days. So I keep trying to bargain. You know, "Sure God, that is an AWESOME idea, but I am a little snowed under here. If you want me to do that could you just deal with this and this and this. Then I would I be happy to do that for you." Not the most intelligent idea, because (just in case you didn't know..) God does not bargain! When He calls you to something He wants you to do it NO MATTER WHAT.
So I am here to say:
I get it God!!!
You can stop with the hammer to my head!
I am willing to do it your way!"
And the truth is God wants me to say it, but also to DO it....
(Yes, I KNOW that even if He thought it necessary to remind me six ways from center this week!)
So here I am to SAY it:
Lord, I am willing to follow you on this thing that you have put on my heart and find a way to bless these people you have shown me your burden for. I am ready to walk in YOUR will and YOUR path in all of this, no matter what else is going on in life!
And also to tell you that I DID it!
I wrote out some of what burdens my heart and shared it with another who God showed me has a similar heart.
I made a date to DO something about one of the burdens, it is officially on the calendar!
And I took a step out of the shadows in my quiet work, and am ready to partner with other liked hearted souls to boldly go forth and show with deeds Gods love for the people He has placed on my heart.
And all of this is to say,
I am a bit overwhelmed, so won't you please join with me in prayer? I am so excited to see His plans unfold. (It is like a bit of electricity running through my veins!) but I am also timid about extending myself any more. I know that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me, and I know this is His call, so that equals the perfect path.... My heart is totally there, now if I could just get my hard head there too!
And this is also to say to those of you who are believers,
What are you DOING to show those whose lives you touch the love of our Father in Heaven?
And on that note, it is so GOOD to be writing again, and I hope to share some of the HUGE things that have been going on in our lives very soon!