I can't not tell you HOW happy I am that yesterday was the LAST Sunday we will be here for this journey! I do think that Sundays are the hardest day to endure here for many reasons. Some one said to me yesterday that it sounded like I have lots of little things adding up to make a big blah day, and I totally agree!
First off, on Sunday I miss my church family more than any other day of course. I miss a Spirit filed time of worship with other believers. Not that I don't listen to worship music almost constantly on this journey, but it is different with my family all around me. Thankfully, I don't miss message, as our church is fabulous at getting message up early Sunday afternoons. And I miss all my HUGS from church. Who knew I fill my hug tank up at church each week? But man, am I running on dry right now!
Also on Sunday Nathaniel has NO therapy! A full day of entertaining a bored child in the hospital, not so fun. The last two weeks the weekend doctor has let me take Nathaniel to the family house for a few hours each Sunday. It was a blessing to get OUT for a bit. Today the doctor heard me say we were heading over there and she told me NO! I was seriously in tears. I tell you, it's the little things that make or break hospital stays. Today it was the inconsistency that sent me over the edge. A policy should be a policy, it shouldn't matter WHO you ask, the answer should be the same. Unfortunately many things around here have depended on who you ask, and that has been very difficult for me to tolerate. Don't get me wrong, the rehab here has been fantastic, it's the little things that are driving me crazy though.
Between those two little things, and some personal stuff that is weighing heavy on my heart I had a difficult time dealing with pretty much anything yesterday. I think I have definitely reached my breaking point here. I was plugged into my iPod almost all day, just filling my heart with praise and worship, and desperately trying to find the grace to walk through the day in a manner I could be ok with. I have a feeling this will be a struggle for the remaining days here (it is early in the morning, and yet I have already been in tears a few times today). Please, if you have anymore prayer energy, pray that I can make it through this is in a light that continues to bring glory to God, not in a crazy mama bear manner! I so don't want to be that mama bear, but I am having a hard time keeping her down!
Today is back to the grind for Nathaniel, he has 8 therapy appointments today! The final push to get him strong before we head home some time this week. I plan to keep myself busy and distracted in hopes that I can remain calm and full of grace, we shall see. Oh, and I plan to search high and low for the missing mail package! Found the missing DS this morning, just one more missing item, and I can go home with everything!
As, always, thank you for joining us in this journey. We love you and couldn't be where we are without your prayers!
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