Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Words of my Heart

You know how there are those times that we get really passionate about something, think about it in our minds and hearts, then poof, we get lost in the busy of life and never do anything to share that passion we had? Well, I feel like I am in lost in the busy of life right now and NOT sharing the passion of my heart as I should be. There is a burning in my heart to share CONSTANTLY about the anchor of my life. But as I reflect on the day each night, it strikes me that I seldom SPEAK of Him. I wonder each evening, "Do those around me KNOW how I made it through today? Do they know that they can have the same anchor, peace and promises? Do my friends, family, customers, and those I come in daily contact with KNOW that my life is dedicated to the Lord Jesus Christ, and without him all is lost to me? Can they see it in my life? In my actions? In my words?" And many days I feel that I fall short.

I often times find myself bogged down in the troubles of the moment and negative. I know in my HEART and MIND that the Lord is in control. I know that He works ALL things to His glory. I KNOW that He has my family in the palm of his hand. But it is so easy to be down, to be negative, to be just as so many others in this society that we live in. But that is NOT how I want to live my life. It is not the person that I want to be!

Do you find yourself counting your lot in life and justifying your bad attitude? I do. There are so many things that I AM as a person.

I AM the mother of a special needs child.
I AM the wife of an addict.
I AM a business owner struggling in this economy.
I AM a mom fighting to feed her family and keep a roof over our heads.
I AM a woman who battles her own health issues daily.

But the truth is that there are MILLIONS of people who deal with these same things EVERYDAY.

I am NOT the only mom to a special child out there. The truth is that there are tons of moms like me everywhere you look. Some of the people I respect most are those that do what I do everyday, only better, like April, Carla and Michelle. I look at these women and see what an amazing job that they do with their special boys and pray daily that I could do half as well with mine!

There are countless wives out there that are married to addicts of all kinds. And I am sure that most of them walk through their days with a million times more grace and patients than I do. I freely confess that this is my greatest shortcomings. I have no patients with my husband, no patients with his addiction, no patients with the SLOW process of stepping out of the darkness and into the light. I want it done NOW. I am tired of living in the shadow that covers our family from all of this. If you ever want to pray for me this would be a CONSTANT need for me... to have PATIENTS, GRACE and UNDERSTANDING in this area of my life.

As I drive down the streets and see empty building after empty building, as I attend local business meetings and see fewer and fewer in attendance, and as read about those throughout our country I KNOW that I am not the only business owner struggling. I know that I am not the only one daily weighing my passion and belief in my business against the stark reality of meeting my basic obligations with it. This is a tough time all over for small and big business alike.

I could go on and on, but I am sure that you are intelligent enough to look at my list and see, clearer than I, that I am not alone in ANY of my struggles. Each days millions of other women around this country face the same things I do. My questions is, do I face these things in such a way that brings glory to the ONE and ONLY Lord, Jesus? Do I rest peacefully enough in Him? Do others see his goodness and grace in my life? Do I SHARE my passion, faith and unmovable belief in Him with others?

A few weeks ago at church we had a guest musician do worship. He is a very talented young man and the time with him was very passionate and Spirit filled. I especially appreciated one particular song that he did. It really sparked something in my heart and got me to thinking.... real, deep thinking. I even jotted down the song title to look up the lyrics and share them here. I have turned this song over and over in my heart many times. But then it happened. I got busy. This came up and that came up. Everywhere I looked something was distracting me, and I did not share this amazing song with you. And then I forgot about it. Clean out of my mind it was. Until today. And God so gently nudged me and said "Remember? Remember what you wanted to do with that song?" And guess what?? I DO remember. I want to share it with you! So without further to do, here it is! May the Words of My Mouth by Tim Hughes....

May the Words of My Mouth
(and yup... I could NOT figure out how to embed it here, so you have to hear it there... sorry!)

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart

Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus

And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways

Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do

It's time to live a life of love that pleases You

And I will give my all to You

Surrender everything I have and follow You

I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision,

Lord, will You be my guide

Be my hope, be my light and the way

And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth

Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow

I will follow

I will follow You

This song embodies my hopes and desire on the type of person that I strive daily to be. I want the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart to bless Jesus, every minute of every day! And I pray that the deeds of my day reflect what is important to my heart. I have a heart for people, and want to live in such a way that anyone I come in contact with feels that love and knows that it is but a taste of the love of the Lord! And I pray that daily my actions, steps and life will be a form of worship to him!

How about you? Did this song speak to your heart? Does another always lift you up? I must say, since 90% of the time I listen to kids worship music I like upbeat fun songs about the Lord, but this one really nailed me! I so wish I had a few extra dollars to get the CD of it, but it must go on that never ending wish list of mine, because CDs are just NOT in the budget!

Well, I must be heading off to the sunset about now, but I hope that this got you thinking, because I know it got me thinking. Now my goal is to turn those thoughts into actions, so that every person I encounter in a day KNOWS without a doubt that there is something special in my heart! And I know that this will be a challenge, but hey, I like a good challenge, don't you? Pray with me on this and more?