keeping it real...

So if you know me in real life you know how mild mannered and laid back I am right? At least in my dreams right? Yea... controling my .....ummmm..... wicked tongue! is sometimes a HUGE struggle in my life. One that I don't always win on either. But REALLY I have been working on this!! Seriously. But yesterday REALLY tested me.

For the last few weeks Mark and I have been having some pointed disagreements about the condition of, use of and treatment of a vehicle that we jointly own. I have felt that he was treating it with complete disregaurd and misusing it. He has felt that it is his to treat any way he likes. I have at various times felt that it was not safe to drive and therefore he shouldn't be driving it. We have gone back and forth for what seems like FOREVER. Just yesterday we were back there again.

Around 5 pm I called Mark to check and make sure that the tire that we had agreed needed fixed had been taken care of as agreed. The converstation went something like this:

Me: Hey, you get that tire taken care of?
In my head: Yo, you. You told me that you would take the car to the shop this MORNING, it's now 5 pm, that tire had better damn good and well be fixed by now!

Mark: Nope.

Me: okay, why not?
In my head: WHAT??? Are you freaking kidding me??? You PROMISED. Can I not trust a SINGLE promise you make??

Mark: It cost too much. I didn't want to do it.

In my head: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Just last week I had the first tire fixed at the same tire shop it was FREE. They told me that since I bought the tires there fixes were FREE. HOW is free too much??? Give me a freaking break!
Me: Ok. Your choice but if that is the case the car needs PARKED in the driveway until the tire can be fixed. It's just NOT ok with me to drive around on bad tires!

Mark: No, I am going to my meeting first.

In my head: WHAT?? I don't think so! Your meeting is 30 miles away ONE WAY. What the hell are you thinking driving all that way on a bad tire??? NO way in HELL. You are going to go too fast, have a blow out, wreak the danmed car and KILL some innocent person in the middle of it all! NO. NO. NO. I don't thinks so buddy boy.
Me: No, that is not ok with me. The car is half mine and I do not think it is safe to drive. Please park it and find another way to group.

Mark: It's fine. It's safe. I have been driving with it like this for weeks. I am going to group. Goodbye.

In my head: What a freaking JERK. He thinks NOTHING he dose has any consequence at all. He can do whatever he wants because someone is always going to take care of it for him. I HATE this. It is NOT ok. I am sick of cleaning up his freaking messes. I am so done with this. I am going to that meeting as soon as I get off of work and doing some creative disabling RIGHT THERE in the parking lot of the meeting. I am NOT letting him hurt some innocent person because of his selfishness.. no way no how. Ugh. Men!

Calling him back...
Me: I need you to know that I think it is DANGEROUS to drive the car in this condition. I am NOT ok with it. I want you to park it NOW. There are going to be consequences to driving the car in an unsafe condition.

Mark: No. I am going to meeting. Bye.

In my head: OH. MY. GOSH. I HATE this. I am sooooo done. He is not going to know what hit him when that car won't start for him after meeting. And it serves him right too. UGH.

About 15 minutes latter the phone rings and I see that it is Mark. I answer:

Mark: I am alive... but there is a BIG problem.

In my head: NOW WHAT????
Me: And the problem would be?

Mark: I was in an accident. A BAD accident. (then his phone cuts out and drops the call.)

In my head: Can I say I TOLD YOU SO!!! Ok, so HOW bad? Is anyone dead? Seriously hurt? Oh shit, is Mark seriously hurt? He doesn't have medical insurance. I wonder who's fault the accident was. Well his of course.... it is only my lick that it would be that way.... Ugh. Why the hell isn't he answering his phone now. If he hurt someone else he is going to WISH he were dead by the time I finish with him. I am SO going to hurt him. And NONE of this would have happened if the car was in my driveway like I said!!! Gonna hurt him, gonna hurt him, gonna hurt him!

So I finally find out where the accident is and head on over there. It is BAD, just like he said. Somehow he managed to get THREE points of impact on our car .. and there was only ONE other car involved. HOW???? I don't get it. And the driver of the other car was taken to the hospital too. AND the other car looked just as bad, if not worse than our car. AND it looks like Mark will be found at fault in causing the accident. AND mark IS actually hurt, but refusing medical treatment. I had SO MANY thoughts floating around in my head... and almost NONE of them were nice.... but all I said was:

Me: It's good to see that you could walk away from all of this. I wish you would get medical treatment. Where would you like me to take you now?

So many times I just wanted to THRASH him about this. But to this minute I have held my tongue. I have been SO GOOD and SO GOLDY with my words. And has he noticed??? Not that he's said. Ahhh.... but I know HE (God) has noticed... and my reward will await me latter!

So, if you are the praying type, PLEASE pray for His hand in the dealings with this situation. Please pray that the other driver wasn't hurt too badly, or even that she was taken to the hospital and found to be fine! Please pray for His guidance when it comes to fixing the car or not (at this time it is looking like a "total") Please pray that God deals with either Mark's injury OR Mark's thoughts about it. And please pray that I will continue to hold my tongue!!!