Thursday, March 4, 2010

Stained Glass Plasquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that fails
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

'Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know that they will soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's ok
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitations open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the alter for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But it would set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Casting Crowns
As I lay here in my daughters bed, well after 1 am, weeping my eyes out and listening to one of my favorite CDs this song completely speaks to my heart. I am in a place that the plastic mask doesn't even fit anymore and it makes me wonder, will anyone love me right HERE in the midst of the mud and muck of life? Where are the arms Jesus promises me? Where is HE in all of this?

It also resonates to something else that has been bothering me for a while now. I have heard time and time again from people in my life how strong I am, and I DISAGREE whole heartedly. I feel weak, I feel humble, I feel like the ONLY way that I get through each day of my life is with the grace of God. So why do so many see me as something else? Have I worn the mask for so long and learned the lines so well that the true me is lost? And if so, how scary is that? Good Grief!
This could all just be the rambling of a broken hearted child of Christ wishing to share a song speaking to her heart, and if so I beg of you listen to it. If something I said actually makes sense to someone, then wow, thank you Lord for the words, because it sure isn't of me this morning!
But PLEASE go HERE and listen to this amazing group and song!