Wednesday, June 23, 2010

"Attempt great things for God, expect great things from God!" William Carey

You can say this with confidence when you know what God has called you to do. When He ordains, He sustains! When you set your own goals you lack a heart-deep confidence that God is doing the work, so you wear yourself out thinking it's all up to you. However, when you know God has given you a vision for your life, you trust Him, even when you can't see any wat to bring it to pass.

In my quiet time this morning I read this and it struck my heart deeply.

For so long I THOUGHT I knew what God wanted me to do. I had this idea of the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter of God that I thought God called me to be and I worked SO HARD to be those things. But the thing was, my vision was NOT God's vision. He told me in so many ways and I ignored him. I thought I knew best. And the truth is that I was terrified of what He might be calling me to. I thought I knew how to do the things I was doing, but it is NOT the path God intended for me.

But a few months ago I decided to let go of my dreams or my agendas and step into God's plan. I knew without a shadow of doubt that I had no idea what the plan was. But I also had a peace in my heart that God did know the plan, and if I submitted minute by minute, day by day He WOULD be faithful in showing me the steps of that plan.

In the beginning I walked out of fear. For if I sat still too long I knew I would question God, so I just focused my eyes on him and walked where he showed me.

After some time of that I walked out of eagerness to see where He was taking us. And man did He take us on a journey! Not a journey I would have ever picked. Not a journey that I was comfortable with. Not a journey I even liked at times.

Now, today, in this time, I see the benefits of the journey. I am still getting used to all of the changes. I know we still have so far to go. And I am still in awe of what He is doing. But I see the good too. It is different. I don't know what His plan is for us. But I do know that there is a plan, and as long as I keep my eyes focused on Him alone it will bring Him glory!

It's all good in theory right? But where are the hard cold facts? Is that how you think? It's how I used to think! Now I am not as consumed with the facts, but I was. I needed that safety, that knowledge, even that control. Control is my big one. That is the one that Satan can sneak in and catch me on if I am not focused on God. But for those of you who want to see the facts...

We moved. Into a house with a rent that made me squirm. But it was the ONLY house that God took me to that met our needs. So I laid it at His feet. "Lord, if this is the house for us make it SO CLEAR to me that even I can't miss it." He did. AND He has met the rent needs every step of the way, in ways I would have NEVER dreamed of! "Lord, I KNOW you have a plan for this, please show me the steps to take to stay on your path." I have confidence that even though I look at a family budget with large holes in it, the Lord will provide each step of the way. And when it is time to move on, He will show me that too.

I am a single mom. With a special needs child. Trying to balance it all. And many times falling flat on my face. But He has surrounded us with an AMAZING WRAP team who build up, teach and affirm. It has been so long since I have had any affirmation from people out side looking in. It shows me that I really am the mom that that Lord wants me to be in so many ways. We all have areas that we can improve in, but with His help I will keep growing everyday.

I have not spent more than $100.00 on food in ANY MONTH for the last 8 months. That is feeding a growing family of 3 for less than $100.00 a month. But guess what? We have NEVER ONCE gone hungry. And we eat very healthy! God provides, in the most creative ways, just when we need it most.

Work. God gave me a job when I needed it. He gave me the strength to do things that were not in my gifting. He provided ways for me to afford child care to work. And He blesses my faithfulness with a better job, in my areas of giftedness that does not take me away from my children as much.

I could go on and on and bore the heck out of you, but I won't. Just let me say, that He is FAITHFUL to the end when you step out of your plan and into His. When you focus your eyes, your life, and your heart on His plan expect to be amazed at the great things He has in store for you!

1 comments: said...

I just wanted to tell you that you are such an inspiration to me. Your blog is truly a blessing to read. I am praying for you today. Happy Wednesday!