Tuesday, June 22, 2010

seasons

I know we all go through seasons.
Seasons are good.
They grow us.
They stretch us.
They make us more like God if we do them right.

The kids and I have been in such a season of change and transition for awhile now.
We have become a family of three.
We have moved out of the only family home my children have ever known.
We have started over with little.
We have endured times of great hardship and uncertainty.
We have walked through the valleys, and are coming out on the other side.
And I feel stronger, more secure in the Lord for it.
I know that He has given me the path and the strength to be on it.

But I feel like I am in a season of isolation and loneliness right now, and I DON'T like it one bit! I don't know that I was ever cut out to walk alone, yet that is what I am called to right now.

I am missing my dear friends.
Missing them like there is no tomorrow!

The ones I can say it all to.
The ones that call me on my crap.
The ones who know me inside out and still love me.
The ones I feel safe with.

The one who knows when I just need arms to curl up in.
The one who knows when to just hold me while I cry.
The one who knows when I need a hug
(and lets me cling as long as I need!)
The one who knows when I am putting walls up,
and the one who rips them right down!
The friends that are always there, but just so far away right now.

I think I need to step out.
Make new friends.
Find new arms.
Expand my comfort zones.
Find people that are safe to take the masks off with.
I think I need to reach out before I collapse,
but I just don't know how to do it!
I just don't know what safe is.
I don't know where to turn except to Him.

So Lord,
Show me the path.
Show me who you would have me to be with right now.
Show me who's safe.
Who knows how to love with your heart.
Who accepts your children as they are,
even as broken and sad as I am today!
Show me what arms are safe to hide from the storms in.
Show me who needs me jsut as much as I need them right now.
Show me the friendships that have room to grow and places to go.
The ones YOU have for me in this time.
The ones YOU have me for in this time.
Please Lord, for I am so......

Lost.
Alone.
Scared.
Tired.
Broken.
Ready.

1 comments:

Penny Malley said...

Your post reminds me of my very favorite Amy Grant song, "Arms of Love"... Have you heard it?
I have found a place where I can hide
It's safe inside Your arms of love
Like a child whose held throughout a storm
You keep me warm
In Your arms of love...
Praying for you, sister!