Sunday, September 20, 2009

Walking through the Fire!

Life is such an adventure. And I don't say that lightly. I could call it other things, more negative things, and probably be justified in it, but I CHOOSE to call it an adventure. And I have CHOSEN my adventure partner... his name is Jesus! It is him I cling to through it all... and there is so much! So much more than you all know about. Even in my transparency here there is much that I keep close in my heart. Much that I have not found the words to share. But know that my days are filled with fires. I am so tired of being refined by fire. But alas there must be something in me that needs further refining because the fires continue to come! When the day of reckoning comes I should be totally pure from the refiners fires I have been through!

Today was a roller coaster from hell! Seriously. Really far up and really far down. Some days I wish I was floating along on a smooth lake just relaxing, but I have been called to the high seas and tons of storms it seems! One day I will trade it all in for eternal peace, but until then I keep praying for calms in the storms.

Today started with a fun time with my sweet daughter. She got a hair cut yesterday and it's really cute (sorry no pictures yet... my camera was exhausted yesterday... and yes, that's what it tells me when the battery is dead "battery is EXHAUSTED" Freaking cracks me up even when I am annoyed that the battery is dead again!) ANYWAYS, Audrey and I played with her hair this morning. We used hot roller to curl it to see how that would look. She has pictures coming up this week and I am tyring to decide how to doll her up! I miss her natural curls, but summer always seems to kill them :( So, on the up side it came out looking really cute, but on the down side it fell really fast and didn't last long. I think we are trying rag curls tonight!

Then we were off to church. I really enjoy corporate worship. I usually enjoy message, and today was really relevant, but I really go to church for the worship :) I LOVE worship. I know that the bible calls us to constant prayer in all things, but so many times I just don't have the WORDS for prayer. But I have the HEART for the Lord, so I worship... A LOT. I have worship music in my car, at my work, on my MP3 player, in my house... pretty much everywhere I am. My children know TONS of worship songs and can sing them without help. And one of my biggest stress relievers is to pile all the kids in the car and head to the beach BLASTING worship music that we are all making a "joyful noise to the Lord" with. Worship calms my fears, sooths my hurts and is a balm to my soul. But I really like corporate worship where a body of believers come together and worship together. I love lifting my hands to the Lord. I love feeling the Holy Spirit moving through us. I even love dancing to before the Lord (although I don't do that as much at church.. wouldn't want to scare the older folks we go to church with!) Is there a better way to start your day? I don't think so! So I was blessed that two guys I love were leading worship today. They are just spirit lead, humble (sort of ) men that do great when they aren't arguing! And Mark even blessed us with an awesome song today! Love it when they work together well. The silly guitar guy wasn't even bad today, and he usually annoys me! My kids proceeded to be GREAT for church so I actually got to hear the WHOLE message! And it was a good one, but little did I know how soon I would be applying it :(

I should have just stayed at church. It would have been a better choice. But I tried to go home and live my life. It wasn't such a good idea. When things are going well spiritually the enemy will attack.. and boy howdy did he ever attack today! I am beaten down. Bruised and bleeding. And my heart is broken.... again. I am tired of this fight, but I know that the Lord has called me to battle the enemy on this front, and to back down would be to give in to the enemy. And he has NO PLACE in my life, in my home, in my marriage or in my heart! I declare victory in the name of Jesus! I will NOT let the enemy win this battle! So I endure. I stand in the gap in steady prayer and hope that someday the one I am praying for will overthrow that enemy and cling to the Lord too! I hope that someday the Lord will be completely victorious in this battle. Until that I day, I pray that I always cling to the truth, I always behave in the fashion God calls me to, and I always shine the light for the Lord. When I was drenching my soul in his word this afternoon I found this truth... great food for thought!

7 "Awake, O sword, against my shepherd,
against the man who is close to me!"
declares the LORD Almighty.
"Strike the shepherd,
and the sheep will be scattered,
and I will turn my hand against the little ones.

8 In the whole land," declares the LORD,
"two-thirds will be struck down and perish;
yet one-third will be left in it.

9 This third I will bring into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, 'They are my people,'
and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "

Zechariah 13:7-9

Isn't his word amazing? And I always find just what my heart needs to hear when I search his word out! I encourage you to turn to the bible when your storms come and the enemy is attacking you!

I also want to thank my dear friends that are standing in the gap for me. My wonderful prayer warriors that I can call on at anytime and know that they will cover me in their prayer. I could not fight these battles without you all at my side. From my dear friends at church that I have know for years, to my new friends that the Lord brings me daily, to my wonderful blog friends that also cover me. Know that I draw strength and encouragement form you all! Lord bless you for your faithfulness!



{april kennedy} said...

I loved this message, especially since just coming home for our church's Time Out for Women. One challenge we were given this weekend was to take something troubling/or a question we want answered by the Lord to the scriptures and we were promised it would be answered there.

I already know this truth and practice it, but not frequently enough. I am looking forward to this challenge and getting to know my scriptures better!

Thank you for testifying of your knowledge and love of the Lord and our Heavenly Father.