Right now it is all about finding the blue skies in the midst of the storms, or finding the silver lining in the clouds, or however you want to say, finding the blessing in the hard! Right this minute I want to set aside the journey, the struggle, the heartbreaking and share the sweet moments...
Yesterday I was TIRED. (You know, having a sick munchkin can throw me for a loop sleep wise) So mid morning or so Nathaniel says to me "Mom you forgot to call me in sick today." Oh man, he was so right! So I quickly called the school and this is the conversation that followed:
Me: This is Gretchen, I am so sorry I forgot to call Nathaniel in earlier. He will be out today, and probably the rest of the week.
School Secretary: I know.
Me: You know? How?
School Secretary: The note on my desk right here that says "Nathaniel out today. At hospital. Sick."
Me: Ok..... so WHO called my kid in sick for me? (remember I am a single mom, it's not like my other half did it for me, right?)
School Secretary: Not sure hold on.
In the background: Hey, who called Nathaniel in sick today? Mom says it wasn't her....
Other Secretary: Audrey came in this morning and told me. She said that her brother was in the hospital last night so he couldn't come to school today and that her mom was so tired she was going to forget to call him in sick and she said that she did not want us to be confused, so she would take care of everything. That Audrey is a big helper.
And there you have it. I don't even have to do my job because my youngest can do it for me!
When we were at the hospital Tuesday I looked around and felt so blessed. I mean, yes my son was very sick, but really we were so much better off than many around us. We had clean, warm clothes. My son was not there alone (another small child WAS sitting on a bed alone for hours :( ). We had a warm home to go home to. We are blessed in so many ways. Then Nathaniel brought it all home in a way that just SLAMMED into my heart. He really is SO insightful!
There was an older couple in the curtain next to us. The woman was obviously way out of it and very needy. The man was sweet and attentive to his wife, in a really heart touching way. I had never met these people before, but there is not much privacy in our ER so we cold hear everything they did and said. The woman was pretty whiny and at the same time belligerent. They were there due to some issue with her eyes and she was MAD about it.
At one point the doctor came in to talk to them and the wife was WAY RUDE to the doctor while the husband was very contrite and apologetic saying he just wanted to figure out what was wrong with this wife so he could help her. The particular doctor dealing with them didn't have much empathy or any bedside manners. He said to the man "She is DRUNK, you could help her by not letting her get drunk!" And walked out of the "room".
The man was real quiet for a while, then said to his wife "Really? Are you drunk? Did you have something to drink today?" He sounded in shock, which was really difficult for me, because I could SMELL that she had been drinking when I had walked past her in the waiting room. But the husband seemed very real in his shock, he even cried asking his wife why she would do that and stuff. It was very sad.
This whole time Nathaniel was playing his DS and I didn't think he knew what was going on, nor did I think he understood what was happening in there. I was sort of hoping and praying he just glossed it all.
A bit latter the doctor came back, telling the husband that his wife had pink eye, but that the bigger problem was that she was very intoxicated. She was 4 times over the legal limit to drive here in CA. The husband was very broken by this (or so he seemed) and they finished up and got ready to leave. The husband still caring for his wife and helping her, but not really talking to her.
As they walked past our room Nathaniel looked up at the man and said this:
Nathaniel: Hey! Mr?
The man looked at Nathaniel at this point.
Nathaniel: Mr. you are so nice to her. That is good. You take good care of her, but it is time to let God take care of her now. He is ready to.
Then Nathaniel went right back to playing his game. It was like he had never stopped in his world, but the rest of us were just staring at my with our jaws on the floor! Even the not nice Dr was shocked. The husband cried a little more, said thanks to Nat and went on his way. The Dr stood and stared at Nathaniel a bit longer, shook his head and went on his way. And I was left there looking at my son trying to figure it all out.
What a weird moment, but at the same time what a powerful moment! I mean come on, my son is 10! And when I asked Nathaniel about it (once my shock passed) all he would say was "It just needed said Mom."
See how blessed I am?
And my final story for now....
Yesterday afternoon was the local food giveaway that I usually attend for my family. It is such a blessing to us, I LOVE these people, their hearts and the fact that they let their lives be used by God to bless families like ours. At the same time, attending means waiting in line for and hour or two usually.
Now I KNOW that I am blessed, that there are people FAR worse off than me, and standing in line for two hours is not a big deal, but yesterday? Yesterday it WAS a big deal for me. I was tired. I didn't WANT to stand out there. I didn't think it was good for Nathaniel to stand out there with me in the weather. But at the same time I knew we needed the food.
Enter an angle.
A dear sweet angle.
She knew that I was going to go stand in line because that was what my family needed, but that I really needed rest and to keep my sick boy warm. So she called in a favor with a friend of hers who volunteers at the giveaway. Not only did she arrange for our food to be pre set, but then she even ran over picked it up for us and delivered it to me. How sweet. What a blessing!
So instead of standing in line trying to keep my chin up I was able to curl up on the couch with my children and let them watch Netflix while I rested my body and mind.
See how blessed I am? It is the little things like this that remind me HOW involved God is in EVERY little detail, and how He will work it all out.
The angel with groceries.
The words of wisdom from my two young children.
The two special friends at small group that GET the road I walk with my husband.
The LAUGHTER God brings into my life.
The HUGS that are like God putting his arms around me filling my tank and getting my through another hour.
It really is all the little things that make me know He cares at such a PERSONAL level!
So on this day, I CHOOSE to see the JOY, be filled with the PEACE and FIND the blessings in it all!