Thursday, June 6, 2013

His Perfect Peace

Today has been one of the longest days of my life.
My little boy (in the total mommy sense of a little boy, you know, the "I gave birth to him so he will always be my baby" way?) had MAJOR surgery today. He was in the operating room for over 15 hours while they dissected and worked on his spine. He had a tethered spinal cord release and they removed multiple cysts in his spinal column. This was a very long, complex and involved procedure. Any normal human being would have been terrified.
We have been preparing for this procedure for a few weeks now. Not long, but not overnight either. I have spent countless hours in prayer over this procedure, and I have begged for prayer from every person I know near and far. I have asked strangers to pray. I have asked my dearest friends to pray. I have asked my church family to pray. I have asked our Spina Bifida family to pray. You name it, I have asked them to pray. Because, you see, that is how I handle hard. I take it to the throne of my God and leave it at His feet. The Bible teaches us this. It teaches us that we can give ANYTHING to God, and if we pray in His accordance He will answer us.
In some ways it is such a simple concept. But then we put our human weakness into the concept and it becomes very messy. I don't know why we do this, but we seem to. I know I do.
This has been a LONG day. I was up before 7 am to get myself ready. I had to have Nathaniel at the hospital to check in at 8:30 am. He was scheduled to go into the operating room at 10:00 am. If you have read the previous post, then you know that they didn't actually take him in until noon ... almost 2 hours late. It is now 3 am, and he is still not done yet.
15+ hours of my little man asleep, under the knife and totally out of my control. If you are a parent that has had to turn your child over to a surgeon before, then you KNOW how nerve wracking this is. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I have had some HARD stuff in my life. And I have had to do this OFTEN. Too often! But today was the longest I have ever had to do this for, and it was also the most complex surgery we have had to endure since his fetal closure in April of 2000. Today was epic huge.
With today being epic huge, I have spent so long on my knees and in continuous prayer. And I KNOW that we have been covered in prayer from every angle around us. And that prayer? I made all the difference in the world.
I was at TOTAL PEACE all day.
Yes, I had moments of loneliness.
And I had moments of  concern about my ability to see him so invaded.
But the procedure?
The doctor?
All that Nathaniel was enduring?
 Total peace.
100% unwavering faith in the Lord.
Complete knowledge that God had this covered.
 And the feeling of that peace?
Completely indescribable.
Once you have tasted that peace, I don't know if there is anyway to go back to a place without peace.
It is THAT powerful,
THAT addicting,

But you know what?
This peace is not just for epic huge, it is for everyday living!

In the midst of all of what was going on today, I have multiple friends chatting with me throughout the day. Via text, email, Facebook and even IM... what would we do without technology?? It was so great to have people to talk to and share my heart with. One friend and I were talking about this peace and how it transcends ALL of life. I was tired, and the first time or two I read the his message I didn't get it, but I KNEW there was a nugget in there I was supposed to "get", so I kept re-reading it until the light went on. I dare you to chew on these words, to roll them around your mind and to REALLY let them sink in.

"You know another thing I prayed for, is that His Spirit would indwell you, and for some reason, the way I worded it, is that Jesus' spirit would dwell in you. (And I meant His nature would dwell in you. His peace, His faithfulness, His compassion, His earnest desire to please His Father). And when I said that, I grasped it; tasted the peace that it would bring you, I knew how GOOD it would be for you, you know? Then what is obvious struck me: That prayer is for me too, that is what is best for me too, for every one of us, at any time, not just the stressful times.  And then this vision of this flood of blessings that would come for other people, if I was just willing to be ... that willing soul that I had just wished for and prayed for, for you. 

I know it's such plain concept that we are all continually aware of, but sometimes you get reminded of what you already know. you know?"

Did that sink in?
It did for me, and it was a total "ah ha" moment for me too.

Now I dare you to LIVE IT.
Live with the Spirit of Jesus dwelling in you in ALL things.
Live the example, walk the walk, do the life.
And be completely consumed with the PEACE that comes from doing what he asked.
Don't worry about HOW to do things, just do as he asked.
Don't hold yourself to a higher standard than he does, just walk the path he gives you.
Don't diminish your own walk but comparing yourself to others, just follow where he is leading you.
 And above all things, know that He has got this!
If you are doing as He calls you to, He totally has you!

I think I have been doing a fair job of walking in His spirit on this journey, and I am TOTALLY amazed with where He is talking me and how He is taking me there with such complete peace. And if I can do it in this HARD stuff, I KNOW you can do it in your daily life!

I dare you.....
What is God showing you?
Where is God calling you?
What path has God given you to walk?
DO IT, and be transformed by His peace, His grace and His perfect will!
And then you will know this feeling I have right now.