Tuesday, December 1, 2009

marching into battle

Tonight I am preparing to march into battle tomorrow. It is a battle that I NEVER dreamed I would have to take part in. It is a battle that breaks my heart, and brings me to tears a million times a day. But it is a battle that the Lord has put before me and CLEARLY directed me to take part in. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this what He is calling me to do, onward Christian solider (or something like that!)!

I have spent what feels like YEARS on my knees in prayer over this situation. I pray without cessation, just we are called to. This often leads to interesting conversation. Many times someone will say to me "Pray without ceasing" and my only answer is "Is there any other way to live?" And, as a dear friend put it earlier this evening, I have prayed until there are scabs on my knees! And I feel confident that this is where the Lord wants me. But it still scares the daylights out of me! And knowing still doesn't make it any easier to walk the path. My mind still says "walk" to my feet and my feet still answer "really? Are you sure?" I know the answer.... but my heart still rebels!

But it is time to don the armor of God and walk into the battle field. I have prayed. I have spent a great deal of time in his word tonight, covering my heart in His truths. I have prayed. I have asked many dear and special prayer warriors to stand with me in prayer. One prayer only. That His will prevails above all else! I have prayed again. Then I have picked out a power outfit that I will feel like the confident adored daughter of God that I am while wearing. And I hit my knees yet again to pray. Finally, I have gathered all of the "stuff" that I have been asked to bring and have it all neat and tidy. Now I am trying to sleep. But sleep isn't coming to me, so I thought I would ... you got it! Pray some more, and share my heart with you, my dear friends!

I am heading into the next stage of this battle early tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. I have only asked one dear person to attend with me, and he is unsure if he can make it. But I know that the most important being of all will be with me, so I can do it! And if not, then He will just carry me. Of this I am sure! Of you feel so lead, please do join the team surrounding me in prayer.... and for one prayer only please.... That HIS will is that which prevails. And that I will have peace in it!